How much fun, or maybe more fear than fun, or a combination of both, have you had when riding on a Ferris Wheel? I was talking with my Angels today and asked them to give me an analogy as a starting point to begin writing about self-forgiveness and they showed me a picture of a Ferris Wheel in my mind. As an Angel Healing Practitioner, having experienced 4 disabilities and 6 near-death situations, most between 1994 and 2010, one of them being a conscious suicide attempt in 1996, But through Divine Angelic Intervention, I didn’t die. I am blessed to continually be given insight from the Angels as I chose to become a “Messenger of Hope” for them in 2004 when I was suffering from bi-lateral plantar fasciitis and couldn’t walk for 5 months. The Angels began gifting me with their words and melodies, which turned into 6 songs. I arranged these songs with a professional singer and co-produced an EP “In
This Moment”, which is free on my website www.brendarachel4angels.com. As I progress in my spiritual evolvement, I understand more and more that life is a progression of positive and negative experiences and everything that happens to me is for the sole purpose of bringing me closer to the Divine Expression of Spirit that I came here to be.
Forgiveness of self, for me, is akin to consciously making a decision to get on the Ferris Wheel, knowing that I am fearful to begin this
journey, but not knowing if I will be able to complete the ride or enjoy the journey while on it, that I may become incapacitated while on it, the Ferris Wheel may have a malfunction or setback that temporarily stops the process or have a complete shutdown that leaves me stranded at the top of the Ferris Wheel with nowhere to go.
- Consciously Making the Decision to Forgive Myself – I believe that in order for the process of self-forgiveness to begin, I must make a conscious decision to start the journey. For me, it usually starts with a negative experience that lingers in my mind. My negative thoughts are a continuous circle going round and round, much like the Ferris Wheel. My energy becomes depleted and I become physically ill, drained and tired with limited focus capacity. I can feel dizzy and off-balanced in my emotional state, and require many hours of rest. I know, from previous experience, the feeling of elation once I have mastered Riding the Ferris Wheel of Self-Forgiveness and know this can be accomplished with grace and ease, when I turn everything over to Spirit.
- Fearful to Begin this Journey – Most of my life I have had a very negative self-image of myself. A lot of my childhood and
teen years I was ridiculed by those close to me about my weight and called names. This stuck with me for many years. Today, I’m able to love me for the way I look physically and accept my body shape. However, the areas of self-forgiveness that I want to heal completely are to do with lack of self-worth and deservedness and self-acceptance of who I am today, instead of
getting caught up in yesterday. I want to let go of all fear that incapacitates me in believing that this self-forgiveness process will never be healed completely and that these negative thoughts will continuously rotate through my mind. I want to feel the joy in my soul as this process comes to its final healing destination.
- What Happens if an Emotional Malfunction or Temporary Setback Happens? – Just like anything in my life that has happened to date, I believe that everything is in Divine Order and that if my self-forgiveness process has a temporary setback and I have not achieved my desired result, or an emotional malfunction occurs, where I am shown through my
reactions to my environment that I have more work to do on my self-forgiveness, I choose to trust the process that Spirit is guiding me at all times, at the control panel and as He is all-seeing and all-knowing, can change any outcome, at any time. When I embark upon the journey to Ride the Ferris Wheel of Self-Forgiveness, I trust that Spirit is guiding me through this healing journey, where my eyes will be opened and I will be able to see all the beauty that resides in and around me. One thing I know for certain, is that if I do not purchase my ticket for Riding the Ferris Wheel of Self-Forgiveness, I will remain right where I am and not give myself the opportunity to open myself up to a new way of perceiving my world.