OK let me start off by saying that considering time is an illusion of our 3D experience, there is actually no such thing as the past and in fact all that exists is the present moment. However, in saying that we do live in a 3D environment where our ego predominantly takes the reigns and we fail to see through some of the illusions that we are subjected to, including the illusion of time. When I was thinking of what I was going to call this post, I hesitated because in no way would I ever down play somebody’s experiences but I know that changing the way I framed my past allowed me to deal with my shadow sides on a deep level and actually get to the place of being grateful and appreciative for everything I have been through.
You may be sitting there right now thinking, but what has she been through that is so bad? Well I am going to be vulnerable and open when I discuss this. No, I have thankfully never had to deal with physical or sexual assault but I have had my own set of what I thought was traumatic experiences at the time, including:
- Many years of bullying all throughout high school to the point that I spent many a lunchtime in the counsellors office crying;
- Best friends stabbing me in the back and spreading vicious rumors about me;
- Exposure to narcissistic and verbally/emotionally abusive boyfriends that told me I was fat and ugly and nobody would ever love me;
- Bosses that have told me I am not worth a payrise even when they were underpaying me in the first place;
- Being on the absolute bones of my ass after leaving home at the age of 18 to move to the city to be with the amazing man I have now, only to be living by myself on $10,000 US year;
- Patterns of co-dependency and people pleasing that left me feeling numb, unworthy and underappreciated; and
- A full year of dark knight of the soul moments which left me questioning everything.
So, that is just some of what I went through. I had the most amazing parents who adored me and who were fantastic to me but we travelled a lot when we were kids and so myself and my brother were homeschooled and so never had a set group of friends that so many are blessed with. We had incredible experiences moving from aboriginal community to aboriginal community and living on stations where we grew our own vegetables, hunted our own meat and pumped our own water. I have overcome almost dying twice – once from a case of bacterial meningitis on the aboriginal communities with no doctors around and the other when I gave birth to my son Jayman in Germany and I lost over 3 liters of blood.
But despite all this, some might think that I would be in victim mode and start to question why all this has happened to me. But thankfully, I am so grateful because I understand the concept of being excited about and appreciating all of these past moments. Why would I do that? Because without these past moments I would not be where I am today. I would not be the strong, independent, powerful and empathic person that I am and I would not have the experience to help others that have experienced similar situations. Everything I have gone through has awakened me to my higher self and source so that I could create my brand “Superconscious Success” and recognise my purpose of connection.
The longer we focus on the past and we fail to dig deep into that shadow side to recognise what the learning lesson was in all that we experienced we can’t truly live in the present and manifest the life that we are designed to live. The longer we fail to take responsibility for where we are in our life, the longer we are going to keep attracting the same things to us over and over again. The longer we blame our outside experiences for our manifestations instead of what is going on inside of us, then we can’t truly move towards the future. It is time to start to let go of the past hurts so that you may move forward to your highest purpose.
By tackling my shadow side and starting to appreciate all that I have been through, I have learnt how to become a more powerful empath free of codependency and the ability to spot a narcissist from a mile off. Having been through the experiences of bullying, abuse and co-dependency has allowed me to recognise my worth and stand in my own power. Being on the bones of my “ass” at 18 years of age taught me about financial management and allowed me to recognise that I was in that place not because of the fault of the boss but because of my limited mindset that was stopping me from manifesting more. When I start to move in that state now I remind myself that money is abundant, as is everything else and I start to get the money flowing again.
I appreciate all that I have gone through because it has gotten me to where I am today. I have created a brand with my good friend and empath Terra Bundance where we teach empaths how they can also do this and begin to stand in their power. These experiences have taught me to connect with my higher self on a super deep level and have faith in myself and you can too. And why am I excited about all that I have been through and my past. Well, that is easy. Because it means I have already gone through those particular lessons and experiences and I have learnt from them so I don’t need to repeat the same experiences again.
It is important to understand that not everybody has to go through a dark knight of the soul to work through this like I had to. You can start working on it now so that you can let go of the self judgement, lack of self love and also lack of forgiveness that is holding you back.