OK let me start off by saying that considering time is an illusion of our 3D experience, there is actually no such thing as the past and in fact all that exists is the present moment. However, in saying that we do live in a 3D environment where our ego predominantly takes the reigns and we fail to see through some of the illusions that we are subjected to, including the illusion of time. When I was thinking of what I was going to call this post, I hesitated because in no way would I ever down play somebody’s experiences but I know that changing the way I framed my past allowed me to deal with my shadow sides on a deep level and actually get to the place of being grateful and appreciative for everything I have been through.
You may be sitting there right now thinking, but what has she been through that is so bad? Well I am going to be vulnerable and open when I discuss this. No, I have thankfully never had to deal with physical or sexual assault but I have had my own set of what I thought was traumatic experiences at the time, including:
- Many years of bullying all throughout high school to the point that I spent many a lunchtime in the counsellors office crying;
- Best friends stabbing me in the back and spreading vicious rumors about me;
- Exposure to narcissistic and verbally/emotionally abusive boyfriends that told me I was fat and ugly and nobody would ever love me;
- Bosses that have told me I am not worth a payrise even when they were underpaying me in the first place;
- Being on the absolute bones of my ass after leaving home at the age of 18 to move to the city to be with the amazing man I have now, only to be living by myself on $10,000 US year;
- Patterns of co-dependency and people pleasing that left me feeling numb, unworthy and underappreciated; and
- A full year of dark knight of the soul moments which left me questioning everything.
So, that is just some of what I went through. I had the most amazing parents who adored me and who were fantastic to me but we travelled a lot when we were kids and so myself and my brother were homeschooled and so never had a set group of friends that so many are blessed with. We had incredible experiences moving from aboriginal community to aboriginal community and living on stations where we grew our own vegetables, hunted our own meat and pumped our own water. I have overcome almost dying twice – once from a case of bacterial meningitis on the aboriginal communities with no doctors around and the other when I gave birth to my son Jayman in Germany and I lost over 3 liters of blood.
But despite all this, some might think that I would be in victim mode and start to question why all this has happened to me. But thankfully, I am so grateful because I understand the concept of being excited about and appreciating all of these past moments. Why would I do that? Because without these past moments I would not be where I am today. I would not be the strong, independent, powerful and empathic person that I am and I would not have the experience to help others that have experienced similar situations. Everything I have gone through has awakened me to my higher self and source so that I could create my brand “Superconscious Success” and recognise my purpose of connection.